Only the actual

There is only the actual.

There is only what is actually happening right now. ‘Woulda’, ‘coulda’, ‘shoulda’ and ‘gonna’, all exist as ideas, thoughts, projections forward in time or replays of memories backwards. When faced with a choice, you're making a conscious decision but with far fewer options than you think you have. The idea you have about your free will, is just that, an idea - a thought. An illusion. 

The actions you choose to take arise from a bank of past experiences, conditioning, and genetic predisposition. That is why we all operate in self perpetuating patterns or cycles, have you noticed? The details of the situation may differ from time to time, but ultimately you have the same scenarios playing out in your life over and over.

Try this exercise briefly…. Think of a song, any song at all.

Once you’ve tried this, notice how in your mind you were given a choice of maybe 3 or so songs? Maybe more, maybe less. Maybe one was a song you recently heard, another your favourite song and perhaps another you had stuck in your head that one time. The one you picked as instructed to do so, likely came from one of these 3. But why not any other 3? You have heard thousands of songs, why not any of those? You pick one and then you can tell a nice story about why you picked it. But you really didn't have many options. This is happening every single day, every single moment you are living. Anything cannot happen, the possibilities are not endless unless you push back. 

Pushing back is hard though. We don't like what is hard. But leaning into what is hard can completely change your life. Pushing back actually means to let a second thought arise and give you more options, not taking ownership of the first lot to bubble up. But the awareness to even stop for a moment takes effort and is hard. Starting a new habit or dropping an old one is hard because when faced with the scenario, you think your choices are: do it or not do it. 50/50. But it's more like 90/10 or even 99/1 to begin with. Once you push back once it can become 80/20 and pushing back becomes easier and easier. Until it is no longer pushing back. Its just another pattern of behaviour, but it is a healthier pattern. Then you change the options first given to you and they better reflect the life you actually want to live. Instead of suffering at the hands of owning every thought and idea you have about what is happening, what happened or what will happen. Actually knowing and understanding what you're up against can be freeing if you let it. Freeing so the pushing back doesn't feel as hard. It can almost become easy. 

If you want to learn more about this topic or something similar, reach out about our meditation practices and seminars.